Framing the Memoir: How Does Motherhood Fit into the College Experience?

Fall frames the world in color.

A writer friend asked me if my memoir was about how motherhood influenced me as a college student or was it how college influenced me as a mother.  While I realize that this is just one aspect of the memoir, it is a good question for it helps to frame the memoir. 

I think the memoir is more about how motherhood influenced me as a college student.  Yet the reverse can also be true.

            Let’s take the first part of the equation.  How did motherhood influence me as a college student? 

            Parenthood is a lifetime career.  It’s not something we stop doing once the children become adults—even if we wanted to.  At the time I started college, I was the primary care-giver to children in grades 2^nd through 8th.  It was my job to help these children become successful in their education and any life obstacles they might encounter.  This was no easy task with my oldest daughter having learning and social problems.  I needed to be there for them. 

I took the parenting job seriously, maybe even obsessively.  I wasn’t free to think only of my own trials in education.  I had to be home for them in the beginning.  This is what made attending college so difficult in the early years of my ten-year journey.  After devoting my life to my children, I needed to allow time for college work.      

            Yet motherhood affected my college journey in other ways, too.  Because I was older, because I was a mother, sometimes I saw the wants and needs of my fellow students at the community college.  I would ask their questions in math class, study with them, help them with their essays.  My husband said that I had gained more children going to college, and perhaps he was correct.  I didn’t mind.  These young students helped me with technical difficulties and math or science concepts I hadn’t experienced recently in the basic skills classes I needed to supposedly bring me up to college entry.  My children were too young; hadn’t had this upper level education. 

           

            And because I was a more mature student, running her own home and family, I brought a commitment to my college education that a few of the younger students may have lacked at the community college level.  My fellow students permitted me to be the group leader in projects.

            Now because I was a mother, I brought home my newfound knowledge to my children, not that they always appreciated it, of course.  I took the notion of parents being the first teachers of their children seriously—again obsessively.  It was my job to be sure the children could survive in today’s world.  I also wanted them to be properly prepared for college as I was not.  I demonstrated time and again what professors were looking for in essays, what was necessary to study to do well on a college exam. 

            Wow!  When I look back on all this I can see why my family is glad that I graduated.  Hopefully the children will see my mothering skills as a good thing in their lives.  Only time will tell.

            What do you think?  Did I answer my friend’s question completely?  Do you have any questions for me about my journey as a mother of five attending college?         

Memoirs: More Than Just What Happened

Memoirs require depth and not merely what transpired during the slice of life being recounted through story.  The writer needs to look up from her reminiscing, and explain the wider experience and the meaning of it to the reader.

College wasn’t for me or my siblings.  We were not encouraged to attend college right out of high school.  There was no money for higher education in my house growing up.  We four children were told we had our education, and it was time to enter the workforce.  My siblings and I accepted it; we had no other choice.  Most of the children in my neighborhood did the same thing in the late 1970’s, especially the females.  My family didn’t know about community college, never went looking for it.  

Through light backstory, intermixed with feelings on this, I could expound upon what it felt like to be left by the roadside on the journey to a formal degree.  I always wondered what it would have been like to live on campus and study.  Of course at that time, I had no idea how extensive a college education was, how expensive.  It looked exciting to me because it was just outside my grasp.  College was for the wealthy, my family had always said. 

On a personal level, I looked for education wherever I could find it, wherever I could afford it.  The law office where I worked talked about sending one of the secretaries to paralegal training offered locally.  I jumped at the chance and told the office manager I would do it.  But then the lawyers decided against it.

To add depth to my memoir about going to college with five children in tow, I could research the history of my local community college or perhaps the birthing of community colleges in general; the two year colleges that possibly helped make higher education more affordable for the masses, and then add snippets of information--not in a solid block, but rather throughout my experiences.  In a later section of the book, I could compare the idea of local community colleges to the 300 plus year history of the University of Pennsylvania, an international university, an Ivy League, part of the ivory tower in education that I thought I could never reach.      

Let's take a look at a few of the memoirs I’ve been reading and see how well-known writers interpret their stories.  I find the writers connecting beyond their own experiences in order to make sense of the larger themes of belonging, of learning from those who struggled before them.  

In Beth Kephart’s Still Love in Strange Places, Kephart describes the very land where her husband grew up and connects the volatility of the land to the political tensions of El Salvador.  The turmoil of the country mirrors Kephart’s trial to understand her husband’s culture, to feel a part of her husband’s culture. 

In Colleen Carroll Campbell’s memoir My Sisters the Saints, Carroll Campbell connects her experiences grappling with her Catholic faith in the context of personal difficulty and tragedy with various saints down through the centuries, demonstrating that Carroll Campbell is not alone in her struggles.   

These thoughts dance across my dreams as I continue to read memoir and hammer away at my revisions.  Your thoughts are always welcome and greatly appreciated.    

Gaining Entrance to College for the Non-Traditional Student

College Entrance exams

The big thing to remember about college is that prospective students can begin attending any semester; fall, spring, or summer. 

 

Getting accepted into college is no easy task.  College admission boards prefer intelligent, well-rounded students.  While the category percentages may vary, the boards look for good school grades and/or a high performance on the S.A.T.’s [Scholastic Assessment Tests] as proof of academic accomplishment.  Well-rounded students probably participated in sports and belonged to clubs in high school.  Traditional prospective college students volunteer their time at churches, hospitals, or community functions. 

 

You know, a person who never sleeps, has no time for family or friends.  These are tough sneakers to fill for a non-traditional student, a student over 30 years of age beginning college for the first time. 

 

This was one reason why I started at a community college or junior colleges as they are sometimes called.  Since I was a non-traditional student, with no S.A.T. scores, I needed to take a basic skills test, an entrance exam, to be sure I was prepared for college level math and writing. 

 

Okay, so I was only partially prepared for college, passing the writing portion of the entrance exam, not the math.  I didn’t have a college preparatory high school curriculum.  I was a business student.  I haven’t done algebra and rational numbers and integers, etc., for a long, long time.  I required basic skills math courses to bring me up to college-level math in order to complete the math and science requirements needed for a college degree.       

 

And that is where my college journey begins in the memoir: deciding to apply and take the entrance exam at a community college—with five children in tow for most of it.  However, even though I started at a community college, the possibilities from there were numerous.  I’ll discuss some of those possibilities together with scholarship next month.     

College: Why a Brick and Mortar Institution of Learning Matters

University of Pennsylvania

To continue with last month’s blog post, why should a prospective college student attend a brick and mortar institution?  While totally online degrees abound, I believe it is the educational community and the opportunities the physical college setting offers that make it important for most students to attend. 

The give and take of the college classroom, the professors and their teaching assistants, the availability of tutors and writing centers, fellow classmates working and studying together; upper classmen assisting underclassmen, the genuine proximity of the education being offered.  More than education is shared on the college campus.  And I’m not talking about partying. 

While younger college students learn to become self-sufficient, older college students may struggle to understand new material.  Students come to a particular course from different stages in their curriculums.  Many times the physical presence in a classroom can afford a camaraderie that is not present in the online classroom. 

 

The physical college stetting can help students learn how to work with people from different backgrounds, discover different methods to analyze and evaluate class projects, perhaps fill in some missing knowledge for each other. 

 

I brought life experience to my college education.  Even though I had basic skills math to obtain college level math skills, there were educational holes in my knowledge base that fellow younger students filled in for me.  We worked together in numerous projects, each bringing an understanding that another hadn’t considered. 

Most physical colleges offer opportunities to their students where they can stretch their political or artistic wings, create a new community group or college periodical.  They can learn about other cultures firsthand through fellow students or professors.  Students can study abroad, take classrooms in the field of research, take advantage of internships, and scholarships to continue their education. 

 

The brick and mortar institution, with all its components, is an asset in a student’s learning journey.  Together with opportunities afforded to the student body, attending college within a learning community fosters the sharing of knowledge.  What do you think?