I’m 100 pages into my memoir
about attending college as a mother of five and at the point where I’ve won a
scholarship to the University of Pennsylvania and am about to begin. I’m scared
to death!
Were you ever too eager to please
someone or a group of someones? A boss? A hopeful romantic interest or
co-worker or editor?
Like in many stories or movies,
this is where the protagonist usually messes up. At least in her first few
attempts at acquiring the desired goal of pleasing those in charge. This can
happen for a variety reasons; i.e., not thinking before you speak, doing
inappropriate actions, or not consciously listening to those around you.
At this stage in my college
memoir, I felt the need to prove to those at Penn that I could be an Ivy
Leaguer. I wanted them to see that they did not make a mistake in granting me
the Phi Theta Kappa Scholarship. I needed to make a good first impression at
Penn, and of course it backfired on me.
Transfer students had a summer
reading project, The Tipping Point by
Malcolm Gladwell, and I needed to interpret a connection to one of the topics
in the book. A lively discussion had ensued that hot August afternoon in a
packed College Hall. While all of the other incoming students connected to
topics through academia; sociology, psychology, and business practices to name
a few, I connected to teaching preschoolers through the use of the Sesame Street television show. This topic
in the book talks about how small lessons can make big improvements in the
education of children.
Yes. I heard everyone else speak.
In fact I was almost the last student to speak. I was afraid to speak because
my connection was from life experience, not academic study. I thought possibly
these academics hadn’t had the experience with Sesame Street I had raising my five children. I thought they might
appreciate my insight because it was so different from all the intellectuals in
the room. So while everyone else received comments or questions or further
discussion into their topics from the panel of Penn administrators, my topic crashed
into the floor like a lead balloon. No discussion. You could hear the air
conditioning unit cycle on again.
Just like characters in stories,
our protagonists need to make mistakes, need to feel defeat, anxiety, or
humiliation in order to be real to the readers. Readers want to connect to our
characters, especially our protagonists.
So while our stories are unique,
what our characters do is unique, there needs to be some base feeling or action
that our readers can connect to. Embarrassment is a good one. So is fear of the
unknown or hurt from someone we love or trust. Characters need to be vulnerable
at one time or another in our stories to be real, no matter what genre we are
writing in.
So how do you make your
characters seem vulnerable to the reader or other characters in the story you
are telling?
Please feel
free to offer any insight regarding Victoria’s summer
reading project scenario. It
would be truly appreciated.
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It only crashed because I bet most of those other students didn't have those life events like you did.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I think, too, Alex. Today, in hindsight. At the time, I thought it would be a completely different perspective. But when the discussion stopped, all I could think of was how I didn't belong.
DeleteIt's always a pleasure seeing you here at Adventures in Writing. Thanks for sharing your insight. Enjoy your weekend!
The person in me is sad that your audience at the time didn't jump on the opportunity to discuss Sesame Street, but the author and reader in me is glad they didn't, because Victoria will go through the struggle and come out the better for it somewhere on the other side. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely correct, Raimey. Our stories, true or otherwise, must show struggles and how the characters changed because of them.
DeleteThank you so much for sharing your insight here at Adventures in Writing. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy your weekend!
"I thought they might appreciate my insight because it was so different from all the intellectuals in the room."
ReplyDeleteI wish they had--they could have learned something. But you're right that the experience of not connecting with those around us, of not having an audience react the way we'd hoped, will be quite relatable in your memoir!
Thank you, Jennifer. I hope this experience of not connecting with those around me is relatable for the reader. Your insight helps me move forward in this memoir, believe me. Thank you so much for sharing it at Adventures in Writing. Enjoy your weekend!
DeleteWow, I can see the scene before me. I think Alex is right about the reason it crashed... Thanks for sharing: I need to make my characters more vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteRonel visiting on Author Toolbox day 6 Tips to Think Like a Book Blogger
Thank you, Ronel. We all have our own personal backstory, our own experiences that make us who we are. And if we're lucky, we can share these experiences to connect with our readers.
DeleteThanks so much for your comment here at Adventures in Writing. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy your weekend!
Embarrassment is a great one! It's a huge fear some of us have. Great reflections today.
ReplyDeleteOh Erika, I seem to excel at embarrassment unfortunately. Thank you for your kind words here at Adventures in Writing. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy your weekend!
DeleteI try to show the reason for the emotion within the scene. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from elements of emaginette
Absolutely, Anna. That's how writers should do it. Thanks so much for your note here at Adventures in Writing. Enjoy your weekend!
DeleteI can picture it, and even hear the air-conditioning cycle on like an echo in my ears. We've all had an experience like that at some point in our lives and it gives us, the reader, such a point of empathy with your character! Including real moments of vulnerability is an excellent way to make your characters real to us. Even though I'm positive memories like that aren't really ones you love to dwell on.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words, S.E. I'm so hoping this situation is universal to readers. I feel vulnerability is a great way for characters to connect with readers, too.
DeleteThank you so much for sharing your insight here at Adventures in Writing. Enjoy your weekend!
Great quote that I need to remember as I work on my manuscript: "Characters need to be vulnerable at one time or another in our stories to be real, no matter what genre we are writing in."
ReplyDeleteThe site won't my name even though it says I am signed up. But I blog about memoir too at jenniferjordanschaller.com. Happy Blog Hopping!
DeleteThank you for including your information, Jennifer! I'll be sure to connect with you online and visit your blog. I don't know why I'm having trouble with blogspot allowing readers to be identified.
DeleteAnd thank you for sharing your insight here at Adventures in Writing. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy your weekend!
Ouch. I'm getting better and better at making my characters suffer.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough making our characters suffer, Susan, but it's necessary for good story. Thanks for your note here at Adventures in Writing. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy your weekend!
DeleteExcellent description of this moment. I immediately connected to it, so you achieved your goal! Vulnerability in our characters is so important, to forge that connection, and your post does a great job outlining how and why. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words here at Adventures in Writing, Elle. I truly appreciate them. I think Vulnerability is key to connect our characters to our readers.
DeleteEnjoy your weekend!
Personally, I've never connected with Malcolm Gladwell's work, and I think working with children is far more difficult than teaching adults (who are generally there because they want to learn).
ReplyDeleteThis is so true, Iola. Working with children is much more difficult. As for the choice of book to discuss, I didn't have any say in the matter. I needed to find something to connect with in Gladwell's book to participate in the book discussion. Even though my point flopped.
DeleteThank you for sharing your insight here at Adventures in Writing. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy your weekend!
Great, Victoria! Well, not at the time I’m sure, but as part of the story. You seem to go into much detail about scenes like this in your memoir, while I seem to skip over so many emotions. Yet, I hope to draw the reader into my feelings through dialogue or showing certain brief scenes.
ReplyDeleteIt’s important we don’t “tell” or “describe” too much, which is also tricky when it comes to the protagonist’s vulnerability. How do we show this without going into a multiple-page scene?
We don't want to babble on, telling the reader what's happening. We want the reader to be inside the story, inside the mindset of the protagonist, the character who is telling the story. We need to show the reader WHY this particular scene or dialogue is important to you the character at the time it happens in story present.
ReplyDeleteStory present is the main story the writer is telling. For Victoria, it is her journey through college. For you, the story present may be your time spent sailing around the world. But why it's important is that you are grappling with your experiences in a relationship with the gentleman you are with or your experiences with understanding who YOU are in this world.
I think you the character will be vulnerable in your internal struggle to make sense of sailing around the world and being happy being Liesbet. You have a fascinating life. To make it more meaningful for the reader you need to explain why what's happening in the story matters to Liesbet. What is she getting out of her experiences? What do you think?
It's always a pleasure seeing you here at Adventures in Writing. Enjoy your weekend!
I have the book Tipping Point on my to read list. I've heard it referenced several times. Must be good. So glad your memoir is coming along. I can't wait to read it.
ReplyDeleteThe Tipping Point book is quite interesting, from what I can remember. I can let you borrow the book, if you'd like. Thank you, Dawn, for your kind words here at Adventures in Writing. Enjoy your day!
DeleteHi Victoria!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad your memoir is coming along fine. Would make an interesting read! All the best!
Thank you, Nas, for your kind words. Memoir is so difficult to write, to make interesting to others. Thanks for your encouragement. And thanks for your note here at Adventures in Writing. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy your day!
ReplyDelete