Stepping into the forest of my mind

Stepping into the forest of my mind
Just as every journey begins with a first step, every story begins with the first word.

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

An Insecure Writer’s Support Group Post: Writers helping Writers

Hello and welcome everyone to my first Insecure Writer’s Support Group post.  The topic this month is: What's the best thing someone has ever said about your writing?

For me, it was: “Your story is interesting.”  I received this comment for my memoir about attending college with five children in tow from an experienced writer.  A good writer.  A writer I admire.  And my first thought was, whew!  Now I can sleep nights. 

Then I started thinking, but what do I do now?  “Interesting” is only part of the writing process. 

I’m still floundering in the dark about this. 

I am a concrete thinker and writer.  You see I overthink my writing.  Constantly.  Even my blog posts and facebook notes.  I fret, I fuss.  My college journey was quite difficult because of all this.  I thought for sure the family would disown me before I graduated. 

The only way I can think to move forward on my memoir is to apply some of the tactics I used to get through college.  

Lock Inferiority in a closet—preferably one far from where you write and create.  This way you won’t hear her rattling the doorknob.
Trick yourself.  Tell yourself that what you write is only for you.  No one else will see the poop you create.    
Go for a walk—just you, your thoughts, and your doubts.  Don’t be afraid to get inside yourself and listen to yourself.
Talk to yourself.  Go ahead.  I do this all the time.  [Since we’re not supposed to lie, I’m not going to say that I always get good answers.]
And reward yourself if you stay seated [or standing nowadays] writing at your computer or by hand for any length of time.  You deserve it.


Well, it’s time for me to use some of my advice and move forward on my memoir.  Please feel free to offer some advice of your own to move forward on any project you begin.  It would be greatly appreciated.  All the best to you.  


This post was written for the Insecure Writer’s Support Group.  We post on the first Wednesday of every month.  To join us, or learn more about the group, click HERE.  

47 comments:

  1. Welcome to the IWSG - and congrats and doing your first post. It's a very welcoming group. I wrote and published a memoir in 2009. It took me 10 years from start to finish. Writing memoir is not for the faint of heart. I love your tactics to get you through. Sending warm thoughts your way...

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Karen! Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm excited to be a part of this group and look forward to connecting to everyone online. Bravo to you to have a published memoir. What was your topic? No, memoir is NOT for the faint of heart. Again, your kind words are greatly appreciated. Please stop by Adventures in Writing again!

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  2. If you find a lock that truly keeps the Inferiorities hidden away, you'll make a million on it :)
    Good luck with that memoir!!

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Jemi! If only I or another writer could find a way to keep our Inferiorities locked away. I look forward to connecting with all the IWSG members. Thanks for the luck with my memoir. I need it. Please stop by Adventures in Writing again!

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  3. Hi Victoria, welcome to IWSG. I like the idea of keeping my insecurities locked away far from me. Am going to follow all your tactics.

    Rachna Chhabria
    Co-host IWSG
    Rachna's Scriptorium

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Rachna! Thank you for your kind words and warm welcome. I look forward to connecting with all the IWSG members. I hope these tactics work well for you. Please stop by Adventures in Writing again!

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  4. Welcome to IWSG, Victoria. It's a great place to be. Thanks for your tips. I should print them out and stick them to my monitor. Happy IWSG Day!

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Joylene! Thank you for your kind words and warm welcome. I look forward to connecting with all the IWSG members. Great idea to tack the tips onto your monitor. I think I'll do that too. I hope the tips help. Please stop by Adventures in Writing again!

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  5. Welcome to the IWSG! It's always nice when we get positive comments about our writing. It keeps us going when the rejections come.

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    1. Always a pleasure seeing you here at Adventures in Writing, Sherry. Thanks for the welcome to IWSG. I'm so happy to be a part of the group and look forward to connecting with everyone. Positive feedback keeps us returning to our computers, doesn't it? Thanks again for stopping by Adventures in Writing. Please stop by again.

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  6. Welcome to the IWSG. So glad you decided to join us. I love your tips and will probably use them.

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Toinette. Thanks for the welcome to IWSG and kind words. I'm so happy to be a part of the group and look forward to connecting with everyone. I hope the tips help. Thanks for stopping by Adventures in Writing. Please stop by again.

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  7. You are on the right track and the advice that you have given is the right way to move forward. The only other thing I would say is to stop fussing and be a gentle friend to yourself. Sometimes, we sag but that is okay as long as we know we are sagging.
    All the best and welcome to IWSG. You're going to love it here.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Patricia

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Patricia. Thanks for the welcome to IWSG and kind words. I'm so happy to be a part of the group and look forward to connecting with everyone. This is sound advice, Patricia. Thanks for sharing it with me. And thanks for stopping by Adventures in Writing. Please stop by again.

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  8. Timed writings maybe. Tell yourself this is for you and set a time to write 5 to ten minutes without stopping and no editing. Done that before. Just made self write say 150 words before I could walk away from the computer. Hope you find your forward motion and fly with it.

    Happy IWSG Day
    Juneta @ Writer's Gambit

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    1. Always a pleasure seeing you here at Adventures in Writing, Juneta. Happy IWSG Day to you, too! Good idea to give yourself a word count and/or time limit to write before you're permitted to walk away from the blasted computer. Thanks for this. And thanks for your good wishes. They mean the world to me.

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  9. Timed writings maybe. Tell yourself this is for you and set a time to write 5 to ten minutes without stopping and no editing. Done that before. Just made self write say 150 words before I could walk away from the computer. Hope you find your forward motion and fly with it.

    Happy IWSG Day
    Juneta @ Writer's Gambit

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    1. Thanks again, Juneta. All the best to you!

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  10. I admire anyone tackling a memoir. It's my one desire and biggest fear. I still can't seem to allow those scenes to come alive on paper. Congratulations, I too use some of your tactics. Walking is my favorite! Keep moving forward and welcome to the IWSG! We're here when you need us!

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    1. Thank you, Yolanda. That is the important thing for writers to realize. We are not alone. Other writers are out there to help us. This is part of our treasure. I truly appreciate your visiting Adventures in Writing and leaving a note. It means a lot. All the best, my dear!

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  11. Welcome, Victoria!! This is a great place to explore and cultivate and reap encouragement. I wish I'd had your list when I was in college (especially about the rattling door knob!).

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Nancy! Thank you for your kind words. I greatly appreciate them. I am so looking forward to connecting with everyone from IWSG. Encouragement is greatly needed for everyone. Please stop by Adventures in Writing again. All the best!

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  12. This is the definition of a true writer: "I overthink my writing." :) Welcome to the IWSG! Enjoy the journey.

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Margo! Yes. Overthinking is truly the definition of a writer. Thank you for your kind words. I greatly appreciate them. I am so looking forward to connecting with everyone from IWSG. Please stop by Adventures in Writing again. All the best!

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  13. I like your idea of locking your insecurities in a closet. :) I think the one I use the most though is tricking myself into thinking I'm only writing for myself.

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Jenni! I am so looking forward to connecting with everyone from IWSG. Writers sharing ideas. This is what makes writers such a special group. Thanks for your comment. Please stop by Adventures in Writing again. All the best!

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  14. Good tips, and welcome to the IWSG! I don't reward myself for writing time, but each short story I place earns me a Funko Pop villain/monster, and when I finish a novel, I get a milkshake (something I don't allow myself otherwise.) It works for me!

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Shannon! I am so looking forward to connecting with everyone from IWSG. Thanks for your kind words. Milkshakes sound like a great idea to celebrate a completed novel. More power to you. Please stop by Adventures in Writing again. All the best!

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  15. Hi, VML! As soon as I saw your blog title in the IWSG list, I knew this was you. And I'm going to follow you here so I can find you easier. Those Google circle whatever things really stress this computer-challenged person out! I can rarely figure out how they work and how to get to where I'm trying to go.

    I was delighted to see your first IWSG post! Putting myself out there the first time was intimidating, but I'm so glad I did it. I so appreciate all the support and encouragement I've gotten through the group! I'm sure that you will find it a rewarding experience!

    Thanks for your excellent tips. If only that darn insecurity wasn't Houdini in disguise! Rewards don't work too well for me though, especially if I think in terms of chocolate. I'll just break down and eat it anyway!

    Good luck with your memoir writing! Karen said memoir writing isn't for the faint of heart, and she is so right!

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    1. LOL I was so rattled from thinking of Google's circle thing that I forgot I had already followed you! Duh!

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    2. And thank you so much for following me. It truly means a lot. So do your wonderful comments. You keep it real for me and I appreciate it more than you realize. Truth be told...I have trouble with Google circles, too, and can't keep away from the chocolate either, although I try to make it dark chocolate. Then I try to convince myself that I'm eating something good for me. It's always a pleasure seeing you here at Adventures in Writing. Thanks again for stopping by. All the best.

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  16. Nice to meet you, Victoria! You're going to fit right in ;-) I follow all but one of your pieces of valuable advice; that being the inferiority monster. Mine is a vapor that sneakily seeps up and saps my creativity - IWSG is the perfect antidote. For here, we unite and drive out the nonsense by sharing :-)
    It seems that you're already well on your way, why not let the editors do the over-thinking while you just be yourself and write?

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Diedre! I'm a new member of IWSG and am enjoying connecting with everyone online. Thank you for your kind words and insight. I will work real hard to follow your advice and allow the editors to overthink instead of me. All the best, my dear.

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  17. These are good tips, Victoria. I think we jump through so many mental hoops sometimes and just need to settle down and write. At least I do, anyway. lol Then I can go from there. Have a great weekend!

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  18. Thank you so much for your kind words, Karen. This is sound advice. Stop jumping through those mental hoops and just write. I'll try, my dear. Always a pleasure seeing you here at Adventures in Writing, Karen.

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  19. And accept we can't ever achieve perfection.
    Welcome to the IWSG!

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Alex. Thanks so much for hosting this IWSG. I'm enjoying connecting with new writers online. Alex, never was there a truer statement. No one is perfect so how can we write perfectly? Thanks so much for stopping by Adventures in Writing. Please stop by again.

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  20. I like your ways of dealing with insecurity and moving on. Memoir is a tough genre to write in; baring your literal soul for the scrutiny of others. You are brave for continuing.

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Dolorah. Thanks so much for your kind words. They're greatly appreciated. Memoir is tough. I'm either brave or a nincompoop! Thanks for stopping by Adventures in Writing. Please stop by again.

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  21. Welcome to the IWSG, we are a friendly bunch. I like your tips and living alone, I tend to talk to myself quite a bit. I've always said, it's not a problem if you talk to yourself, it's only a problem if you argue with yourself.

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    1. Hello and welcome to Adventures in Writing, Jeffrey. Thanks so much for your kind words. They're greatly appreciated. I must confess. I talk to myself all the time. But don't tell my five children. They're already worried about me yelling at Inferiority. Oh and by the way, you are completely correct. If we start arguing with ourselves, we're in deep trouble. All the best, sir!

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  22. Ooo, I like the "Trick yourself" tip. It's so much easier when I stop thinking about what everyone else will think.

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  23. Always a pleasure seeing you here at Adventures in Writing, Lynda. Thanks for your kind words. They mean so much to me. Worrying about what others will think of your story, your writing. It can hold many writers back. It does me, sometimes. Thanks again for stopping by Adventures in Writing.

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  24. And thank you so much for your kind words. They are greatly appreciated. Thanks for stopping by my Adventures in Writing blog. All the best and enjoy your day!

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  25. Some advice I've gotten is to step away from your writing and get back to it later if you are stuck. This gives you fresh eyes. I tell my students this when they don't know what else to write in their essays.

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  26. This is excellent advice, Michelle! And advice that I do use. It's just that sometimes I wait too long to use it. Always a pleasure to see you here at Adventures in Writing, my Dear. All the best!

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