Starting the School Year with a Substitute

No one can plan for medical emergencies or when babies are born.  Several times I have been a substitute for the first week or two of school.  This particular time, a history teacher’s wife was having their first baby.  You can’t miss that.  You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you do. 

Substitutes at the beginning of the school year need to trudge through the deluge of returning paperwork before they can even get to the lesson plans. 

In September, especially at the high school level, there is usually a discussion about 9-11.  What I didn’t realize was that these sophomore students were only pre-schoolers at the time.  They did not understand what was going on.  Therefore, it was necessary to tweak the teacher’s lesson plan a little. 

Instead of having the students write the required essay about where they were and how they felt about 9-11, I attempted to lay out the facts through famous photographs and the personal details of my day so that students could begin to understand what actually happened.  I had the students brainstorm why they think the particular targets were chosen by Al-Qaeda; i.e., the financial system [twin towers in New York], our national defense [the Pentagon], and, of course, the leader of the United States [the White House].  After our discussions, then I had the students write their opinions about the topics discussed. 

I liked having the same subject matter for the whole day.  It gave me the chance to get better with each class period.    

For this history class, I had the opportunity to look at the 100-question citizenship test for the United States and the students and I got a chance to work together to see how much we knew.  I was surprised at how much I didn’t know.  Together we learned more about our government, the political party platforms, and what it means to be a citizen in the United States. 

This is why I enjoy substitute teaching.  It keeps me on my feet and learning. 

The Gift of Thanks

The joy of substituting, every once in a while, you reach someone and help them to understand concepts in review when the teacher leaves work. 

High school geometry.  Multi-step word problems.  My two nemeses.  However, once I stopped pacing the teachers’ lounge grumbling about word problems and no answer key I looked at the pile of worksheets.  Remodeling a home.  Hm, my husband and I have done this several times.  First problem, a fence around the home.  Perimeter.  I can visualize this.  A floor plan of the home with the dimensions.  A need for new floor tile.  Area.  I can do this. 

Once I figure it out, I can help others.  Diagrams.  Figures.  I didn’t want to just give the students the answers.  I wanted to help them see how we get each answer and why we do the steps we do.  Visuals.  Understanding that the fence is not right up against the home but so many feet away from the home, either side, front and back.  And, of course, the floor space in particular rooms, hallways, or entranceways was not rectangular or square.  It had narrow spots, fireplaces, appliances. 

I wanted the students to show all the work so that the teacher could see how we got our answers and thereby the students could see the thinking that goes behind the answers.   

After class, while I was still knee deep in organizing and labeling worksheets, the lovely Bangladesh girl from class came up to my desk. 

“Um,” she said softly, “I want to…thank you…for helping me in geometry class.”  A smile of understanding lit her face.  It glowed. 

I smiled back.  “You’re welcome.”  Helping others understand.  Isn’t that what teaching is all about?    

Grammar Geek Turns Algebra Nut

I’ve found that I love demonstrating those long algebra problems on the board for the students when I substitute for math classes.  You know the problems.  They go all the way across the page.  Whether combining like terms, “please excusing my dear Aunt Sally,” or solving for x, I could do them all day long.  Upper elementary school to high school.  It’s the only part of algebra I’ve retained from college.

            I feel so competent when I know more than [or at least the same as] the students.  Being visual myself, I find the best way to instruct in math class is showing each step to the students and answering any questions they might have.  Because I know the processes, I can pull the problem apart. And I remember the rules.

            I recall taking a basic skills algebra class in college to prepare myself for college level math.  I had found it interesting that my younger fellow students all had an “Aunt Sally.”

            “It’s such an old-fashioned name,” I told the professor when I approached her with my own question.

            The professor smiled.  “No, Victoria,” she said.  “It’s a metonym, a way to remember the algebra steps.  Parentheses, exponents, multiplication/division, addition/subtraction:  Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally.”

            “Interesting.”  I blushed.  I had merely remembered the steps.  When my son finally entered upper elementary school, he learned P.E.M.D.A.S.  Same processes.

            Solving for x builds on the simplifying process to answer the equation.  The thing to remember when solving equations is to do the same mathematical processes to each side of the equal sign.  The object is to get the variable on one side and a number, the answer, on the other side of the equal sign.  To separate a variable from numbers, you perform the opposite mathematical process; i.e., subtraction when it is addition, division when it is multiplication. 

            Sorry.  I do like teaching something I know.  Of course, I probably wouldn’t give up my grammar geek status for algebra.  But it is a fun process, once you get the hang of it.

Cluttered Desks, A Substitute’s Nightmare

               Substitutes don’t have time to mine the teacher’s desk for classwork or the correct textbooks to use for the lesson plan at hand.  Students need to be on task, and the substitute needs to appear competent.  If not, the efficient system of education breaks down.  Students think it is a “free” day, and the substitute feels ineffectual.  

Many times—especially in the primary grades—the series books of Reading, Grammar, and Spelling all look the same with no distinguishing titles written on the front cover, just glorious colorful images.  The books all seem closely related in activities and structure.  Grammar and Spelling exercises are laid out in a story format, and the Reading books have their own set of vocabulary and context clues set up in sentences.      

I’ve unearthed the correct textbook on a table by the whiteboard after combing a cluttered desk for fifteen minutes—fifteen long, noisy minutes as students who have nothing to do chatter along and the time allotted for that subject rushes by. 

As I have explained before, it can be dangerous—time wise—to ask elementary school students which or where books or papers are in the classroom because; a. they don’t know, or b. they need 45 minutes to explain Mrs. Jones’ system of organization.  And then you can’t get them to stop midway into the explanation because the student will cry or say you are rude for interrupting or that they haven’t gotten to the important part yet.

            It can be equally dangerous—work wise—to ask the high school students.  They also might not know, but they would rather have a free period than do classwork more often than not. 

            How do you get around this problem?  Try to arrive extra early, before any duties begin, and ask grade level or same subject matter teachers if they know where something in the lesson plan is or where the teacher left off working the day before or what an acronym in the lesson plan means.  If you don’t have time before class begins, in high school look for a student you know to be trustworthy to ask questions pertaining to where the teacher left off or routine classroom procedure.  Only as a last resort, go with a majority of the students to clarify lesson plans.  I still believe you should refrain from asking the elementary school students unless absolutely necessary. 

Many times the teacher does not plan on being out the next day so things are not organized on his or her desk.  It’s like my husband and his garage.  HE knows where everything is [most times], but I think a tornado hit the inside of our garage. 

Go Play Outside

A typical mother statement. Whenever the weather was fine--or just not raining--my mother sent us outside to play. And we were happy. At my house, when it is not raining, I send my children outside to get some fresh air. I think children of all ages like to be outside.

New Jersey has experienced one of the wettest summers in years. Every time I turned around, it was raining. And when it wasn't raining, the humidity made it feel like you were underwater anyway. So when I was asked to substitute for high school senior physical education classes, and the rain had finally ended, and the children were studying tennis, I was thrilled. I love tennis. Once again, I assume everyone loves tennis. But I should have remembered. I am working with a different animal here. Teenagers...teenagers who don't like gym class.

When I came into the gym all excited, a ball cap on my head, my sunglasses on, and announced to the class that we would be going outside to play tennis, you would have thought I had asked them to run a marathon on broken bottles--barefoot!

Aw, it's too hot out!"

"It's September," I remind them.

"I have to stay out of the sun!"

"Nice tan for someone who needs to refrain from sunshine," I say.

"My feet get too hot."

"Wear thick socks to soak up the moisture," I tell him.

"I don't want my makeup to run...my hair to flop...my nails to break."

"Life is tough," I tell the girls.

Like I say in every class I substitute for in high school. You will not like everything your boss asks you to do, but if it is part of the job description, then you need to do it--without complaint. This is the same with college courses. You won't enjoy every task the professor asks you to do, yes there will be a lot of work involved, and no, you may not like every group member for a specific project. So get used to it now.

Well, we did go out. Yes, they still whined, but it wasn't that it was too hot or too much sun. These teens should have been playing baseball. Every time they hit the tennis ball, it was a homerun! Over the high fence into the parking lot, over the fence, past the driveway, and into the self-storage area, over the fence, through the bushes, and onto the front lawn of the school. We retrieved some of the balls. We lost others. Let's just say that by next class, I needed more tennis balls. At least they were exercising and participating, which are most of my substitute duties in physical education class. Now if I could just teach them how to keep the ball in their particular court, I'd have it made!

Human Biology

When I substitute for teachers, I love to look around their rooms and learn from the information displayed on bulletin boards and models, magazines and textbooks. I learn so much this way. However, when I substitute for the human biology teacher at the high school, I try not to notice anything in the room.

There are reasons why I took chemistry in college. I firmly believe that the Lord put skin or an outer covering over the bodies of the creatures he made for a reason. Yes, it is to protect the body from infection, but also to cover the icky parts so that we do not have to see them if we don't want to. I admire medical people. They are saints in my book. Mothers, too. My five children have displayed more than enough red stuff for my liking. I do not wish to see what the good Lord so graciously covers up for us more squeamish people.

I am rarely called on to substitute for this teacher, but when I do, I enter the room with trepidation. The teacher prefers the real to the plastic in most things, and she changes her displays with the curriculum, except for the real human skeleton that hangs in the front of the room. I remember scrutinizing it the first day of my science class substituting. It looks more brown beige than the yellow white plastic ones most teachers display, and it hangs loosely, threaded together with eye hooks and wire. That's when the students told me it was a real skeleton. As I backed away from the skeleton, the students delighted in showing me the real cow fetuses in various stages, the pigs' brains, and the sheep stomachs in the classroom. All these biological parts of the anatomy sealed in glass boxes of formaldehyde solutions are like a treasure to the class and, I'm sure, the teacher. But to me, they are the icky parts that the Lord conceals with skin so that we do not have to look at them.

When I substituted for the biology teacher this time, I knew to look at the floor as I walked to the front of the classroom. I said hello to the students without lifting my head and went straight to the teacher's desk to view the plans for the day. I screamed and the students wanted to know what the problem was. The problem was that a complete forearm; okay, the radius and the ulna together with all the metacarpals, was sitting on top of the plans. The real forearm of the real skeleton. I guess it must have fallen off. It was only held on by wire, remember.

A male student came and took it away so that I could get to the plans, but then he started playing with it, stuffing it into his sweatshirt sleeve and raising it as his hand to ask questions.

"I understand that everyone can use an extra hand once in a while," I informed him, "but if you break the skeletal forearm, the teacher will use yours to replace it."

He immediately returned the forearm to my desk.

"Not on the desk!" I screeched. "Put it on the side lab table toward the back!"

Now for the day's plans. I usually assist students with any documentary video sheets; however, in biology...let's just say it is extremely difficult. I try not to watch. Only listen to try and catch the answers on the worksheet. As long as the students are actively engaged with the video, we work together and I stop the video early, marking the time on my substitute report for the teacher, and we as a class discuss the video and answer questions. I must say, I do learn a lot this way.

English Class

Grammar. Literature. Essays. Writing devices. Story plots. I am in my own personal Heaven. English class, whether I am diagramming sentences with grade school students or reading complex text with high school students, I am having fun. I told you I'm a grammar geek.

With the elementary grades, I assist the students with creating vivid, exciting sentences for their spelling words or stories. To keep their minds dynamic, I suggest the students think in specifics rather than generals. In a third grade class I substituted for, we did a few spelling words together.

I wrote a general sentence on the board using the spelling word "swoop":

A bird swoops down to the river to catch a fish.

Then I engaged the students to give me particulars, to paint a vivid image of what they were thinking about.

What kind of bird? Was it an eagle, a falcon , or a terradactyl?

Did it have talons? [This gives me a chance to increase their vocabulary, if they don't know this word.]

Where was the bird before it took off? Was it on the top of a cliff, a mountain, or a dead tree?

What's the name of the river? Was the water wild, turbulent, or tranquil? [Possibly new vocabulary here again.]

What kind of fish did it catch? Picture it in your mind, I tell them. Was it a largemouth bass, a trout, maybe a salmon?

Our final sentence for the spelling word "swoop" was:

The eagle swoops down from its nest on the bare cliff ledge to rake its talons through the tranquil water of the Colorado River and snatch a rainbow trout.

At the high school level, I get to expand my mind a little more. There is so much great literature out there that I haven't read. I've learned to look for deeper meaning in literature, be it a novel, poem, or play. And I do so enjoy a story with a profound plot, something to contemplate. No, I don't find everything. I make discoveries in the text right along with the students most times. I can place the story or poem in its historical context for students, explaining--when the teacher leaves me notes or when I know--the culture and timeframe of the story or poem. I clarify plots and character actions that I notice for the students.

Even in English class, I learn something new, be it a new story or new vocabulary or a new way to present a concept. This is what makes substitute teaching exciting and challenging. I just need to make sure that my insight and information are grade appropriate.

High School P. E. Class

It never ceases to amaze me, when I substitute for a high school physical education class, that the students dressed in their gym uniforms, shorts and white tee-shirts, never want to play basketball, volleyball, or floor hockey. However, students not in the class who are walking in the hallway and noticing what I am trying to do with the P. E. students somehow get their friends to push open the locked hallway doors and come into the gym to engage in my sport. The funny thing is that these non-P. E. students can't understand 'how' I know that they are not part of my P. E. class because I am 'only' a substitute. I calmly explain to the male intruders, as they are usually male, that I did not need my college education to be able to see 'who' is wearing gym clothes and 'who' isn't. I quietly escort the intruder to the nearest gymnasium doorway to the hall, thank him for his visit, and promise to bake cookies next time, and then firmly snap the door shut behind him.

This brings me to the next point in substituting for a P. E. class. It is a scary thing turning your back on a P. E. class of 40 students to escort an intruder to the door. Forty students in a single gymnasium are deafening, and sometimes there are two P. E. classes in one gym. Yes. There are two P. E. teachers, but we are vastly outnumbered. This is where a whistle comes in handy. There is no way to get everyone's attention to take attendance, check who's prepared for class, and set up the games without the use of a sound ten times my own personal volume.

Participation is an important part of P. E. class. A class of this size negates 100 percent participation at all times, especially when we have half a gym [when we share the gym with another class]. This is understood; however, there are always a few who simply do not wish to participate in P. E. class. They are easy to spot. I choose a few students to lead the warm-up session as they know the teacher's rountine better than I. I can observe all the students participating in this, and sometimes I join in. But when I set up the equipment and teams to begin play, I find students slipping behind the bleachers and folding doors of the gymnasium to become invisible. So I've discovered a way to get even the most sluggish individuals to 'participate' somewhat in P. E. As the teams play the sport, those who refuse to play walk around the outskirts of the playing field--continuously during a particular session of team play. True, they seem like exhausted bison trudging through the tall prairie grasses, but at least they are moving during physical education class.

Finding Assistance with Certain Subjects

Don't be afraid to ask department heads questions about the material you are asked to present to students either to refresh your own memory or to garner examples on how to perform certain math problems in case you, like me, need clarification of the regular teacher's plans at the high school level. You are showing your intelligence rather than any weakness. I am not pretending to teach a subject that I do not know. I am only checking my memory or looking for examples completed by those who know how to perform such mathematical operations so as to assist the high school level students in the subject matter where I am not the expert. The substitute service knows where I am qualified, English, literature, and writing; however, sometimes they really need any substitute to assist the students on a particular day.

I've devised plans, though, on how to cope in such a situation, if there is no time to see the department head or a fellow math teacher before class. I always walk around the classroom checking that the students are actually doing the assignment. I inform the students that if they have a particular question, they should jot it down on their papers so that the teacher may address it when he or she returns. But I also find out who knows how to perform the operations and therefore the problems as most times I am presenting students with review work in the upper levels of education, and I ask those students to kindly assist their fellow students if necessary. Most students enjoy helping others, and I always learn something in the process. I keep notes so that if I am faced with the same subject matter again, I am prepared...somewhat.