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| Kelly Writers House, my favorite place to be on the University of Pennsylvania's campus |
Why did I attend college at the time in my memoir life? A time when my twins, the youngest, started
second grade. A time when my learning
disabled, oldest child needed me more than ever at the dawn of her high school
years. A time when all five of my young
children needed me to be the calm, supportive mother they had always
known.
This reason to go to
college should be a necessity and not simply a desire one of my writing friends
said. And I believe she’s right. But what can that necessity be?
At the time I was considering
college in my memoir, I was knee deep in motherhood. But I also wanted to publish short stories in
children’s magazines. I wanted to
establish a writing career.
[I know…who didn’t.]
This was before social
media and blogs. Before the internet
craze. For me, it was before writers’
groups and organized courses outside the home.
My husband was sole provider of seven and travelled occasionally for
business.
I felt as if
I were trapped in that home, sometimes, shackled to motherhood and unable to
better myself through formal education.
I adored my children. Still do. They are, after all, my life. My happiness.
I wouldn’t change a thing. Really!
But after
redoing the twins’ baby room with rejection notices—the paper kind, remember
those?—I decided that education was key to publication. At least I felt it would equal the playing
field between me and published writers, established writers, the writers I was
reading who talked of their college experience in articles they wrote in the
baby’s and lady’s magazines I read. I
didn’t have this experience. College was
not an option when I graduated from high school in my blue collar
neighborhood. Only a select few went off
to college. I knew nothing about junior
college or college loans.
It took me
seven years to get the courage to enroll in a community college, in classes
that met regularly—outside of the home.
I had taken correspondence courses, again before the internet craze, in
children’s literature. These only whet
my appetite for that renaissance understanding of the world.
Little did I know how ill-prepared I
was for college. But that’s what the
memoir is about. My quest for knowledge
and how I grappled with feelings of insecurity, feelings of selfishness leaving
my family behind to become a college student and gain knowledge. About finally becoming published. About someone wanting to read my words. About someone learning from my words.
You beautiful readers have been very
kind to me, leaving notes on my blog. Please
offer any opinions as to whether you feel this may be that need to attend
college I’m looking for or offer your precious guidance, so necessary to my
writing life. Thank you.
