The melodramatics of
Collin; he is forever falling on the floor.
No one is around him. Nothing is
on the floor; no bookbags, pencils, papers, or workbooks. If I miss my cue—the overly loud thump is my
cue, but he usually waits for me to be looking at him—he switches
pantomime. Now he holds his head all the
time, when he’s not thumping it on the desk to get my attention, of course. As for payment for these particular
performances, he simply wishes to miss math to be able to sit in the nurse’s
office with ice on his…whatever he decides hurts by the time he walks
[perfectly well, I might add] down the hallway to the nurse’s office.
Yes, the thespians are usually boys in elementary
school. While the boys prefer stunt work
without dialogue, you’ll find the girls in award-winning supporting roles—with
plenty of dialogue. Girls have an
uncanny knack for playing the assistant—especially when you don’t need an
assistant. Angelina is cute as a kitten,
but she was always around my hips today.
Every time I glanced at her chair, it was vacant.
What dialogue do female assistants use? Why a running commentary of what everyone
else is doing in the classroom. And I mean
everyone!
“Johnny ripped a little piece off Susie’s worksheet
and crumpled it and then when he walked by Tommy, he shoved it down Tommy’s shirt,”
the actress chatters on. “And then Kyle
started picking at his big dragon eraser and he’s making a mess all over the
floor and …”
Female thespians look for verbal appreciation for
payment. A “thank you” can go a long way
in helping a young actress feel appreciated, although it does absolutely nothing
to help her stay in her seat and complete the class work.
Now don’t forget. Actors desire more than one person in their
audience, if they can help it. A
classroom full of giggles helps build confidence—but does nothing for
furthering the lesson plan the poor substitute is trying desperately to
decipher.
For me, well I perform before a captive audience. Not only do I need to read the audience
instantly, I also need to adlib intelligence in all subjects. I guess there’s a bit of thespian in us
all.
